I remember when...

 The most treasured heirlooms are the memories of family. 

Sometimes it takes one small thing to bring back a thousand memories. Yesterday it was the smell of blooming sage. As I was hiking the foothills I plucked a sprig and brought it to my nose and suddenly, almost magically, my most happy childhood memories were there at the forefront of my mind. 

 

The months we spent as a family up at our cabin in the Sawtooths were our happiest moments. I can feel the rocks beneath my shoes, the scratch of the sagebrush against my shins, feel my moms hand in mine, smell my dads aftershave from somewhere ahead of me, hear my sisters walking and laughing beside me. 

The best part of reliving these memories is knowing that I’m not forgetting. Because forgetting them is the one thing I’m most afraid of. I know I have said that before, and I know I will say it again.

 Knowing that the next time I walk among blooming sagebrush, I walk with them... well that’s the least lonely I have felt in a very long time. They may be gone, but definitely not forgotten.

January 19

January 19th is kind of a dirty word in my home. I try my best to block out my experiences that day, but its kind of a fruitless effort. Its the day I watched my mom take her last breath. Its the day that CPR became a real thing. Its the day I heard the EMT say, "we've got her back" only to jump in the car, get to the hospital and be told that she didn't make it. She was done. Her body was tired, but my heart hurt... my best friend just left me. I remember walking out and standing outside the automatic doors at the entrance of the Emergency Room and I just couldn't breathe. I couldn't catch my breathe. I didn't cry then. I didn't cry for almost a year. I got to business breaking the news to everyone. Those are cries and wails you never forget. The hurt was so fresh because we'd suddenly lost our sister Chante just weeks before. We didn't have time to grieve one before being shocked by another.

Turning it into art

"Take that broken heart, and turn it into art."

-Carrie Fischer-

Its been a strange few months for me emotionally, winter always is. If I could skip December and January annually, I would. Being stuck in a weird head space and lacking the motivation or inspiration to write, yet needing to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in this case) and letting the thought process pour out of you... It isn't a fun place to be, yet here I am! I can't even tell you how many times I opened up this page just to write a sentence and then proceed to sit and stare at the page until I get frustrated and walk away. The nearly blank entry just sitting there, silently mocking me like a big jerk. Hah! I am aware that is a very dramatic way of thinking... damn anxiety trolls... blarg.  

Happy Monday and 5 Good Things

Happy Holidays! 

Happy Monday and 5 Happy Things

Its another beautiful Monday!! Ready for 5 Happy Things?

 

The BIG Trip- New York

I knew quite a long time ago that on the anniversary of my moms death, I wanted to do something big every year. I wanted to spend the day celebrating her, and her memory, and experiencing something new and exciting that she never got to do. 

Happy Monday and 5 Good Things

Despite my feelings about yesterdays holiday, it really has been a pretty good week!

From a Motherless Child on Mothers Day

This is the third Mothers Day I've endured without a mom to celebrate it with. Not a foreign feeling, but today is also a little different. The last two I still had a motherly figure in the form of my grandma. This is the first year that I want to completely ignore today. I don't want it to exist. I have dreaded it for weeks.

Connectivity

Connecting to people is something I have decided that I am terrible at. Not because I don't want to, I honestly think its a self preservation thing. It isn't just in my every day dealings with humans... I have definitely isolated myself, distanced my self from the memory of my family.

Happy Monday and 5 Good Things

Its been a crazy busy week. Good kind of crazy busy week though. The kind of busy you are grateful for. helps you navigate the everyday stresses (and the not so every day ones.) Here are a few bright spots in my week.

1. I accepted a last minute stage management gig for the opera. What an experience. We were all brought in pretty last minute from all over the united states. Fortunately we all just clicked, trudged forward and staged an opera. In an airplane hangar. Yep... an airplane hangar. The stage was about 20 feet from a DEA jet with a CRAZY expensive night vision camera. It was awesome! Aside from the fact that is was an incredibly sad opera (Glory Denied-about Americas longest held POW) I am truly grateful to have met some really, really great people who I hope to be able to collaborate with again someday.

2. During my one day off this week, I got the opportunity to finish a painting I'd been working on for a few weeks. I don't think I am quite done with it, but I am happy with the progress.

 

3. Before work one day we decided to sneak out as a family and enjoy a bit of nature. We walked a few miles along the river on the greenbelt. I feel terrible when we all work so much that its nice to be able to get the dogs out.

 

4. I made time to get some baking done. Kitchen time is always a little therapeutic, especially when you get to use 3 generations of cookie cutters. Pictured are cutters owned by my mom, grandma and great grandmother. 

5. Today actually, even though I felt pretty terrible most of the day, we took advantage of an evening off and went to Lucky Peak. The weather was gorgeous! I am SO ready for summer...

Don't be a dick...

 

I feel a bit judged lately. Comments to my face. Things said behind my back. I should be "over it" or "back to normal" by now. It's time to speak up, so that I can move on.  It has been an interesting few years, and its left me changed. I get stuck in my own head. I get a bit down on the inside. I’m more quiet than I used to be. Not everyone likes the me I am now. "Judgy." To be totally honest, I would like to see every one of those people live just part of what I have gone through and try to come out the other end unchanged. In fact, I dare you.

Let me break it down for you. A little over two years ago life was calm. It was simple and quiet. It was easy. My family was cohesive, happy… I took it for granted, really. A few days before Christmas that year my sister was killed in a car accident. It wasn’t our first experience losing a family member unexpectedly, but that doesn’t make it any less devastating. A month later in January my mom died. Again, totally and completely unexpectedly. She was my best friend… The rug was pulled out from underneath what was left of my little family unit and our lives changed dramatically. We became a primary caregivers to my grandmother and my handicapped aunt. That includes meals, paying bills, grocery shopping, home maintenance... everything. A few short months ago I held my grandmothers hand as she took her last breath and then became my aunts guardian. She has since moved in with me.

I essentially have a 64 year old who will forever have the mentality of a 6 year old. To say co-habitating with her has been an adjustment is an understatement. While we were moving her into her new home, I was simultaneously emptying her old one to surrender to the bank. Going through 60 years worth of items that represent the grandparents I used to have, the parents I used to have, the family I used to have. Every item, every dish, every photo, every brick of that home is a memory of a life that died with my family. Aside from my aunt, I am the last of my immediate family. There is no one else. No more family dinners. No more celebrating mothers day with a matriarch, no one to retell family stories. If it isn't remembered by me, its gone. Let me tell you, that brings a whole new meaning to the word alone.

So…. tell me I don’t have a right to be down. Tell me I shouldn’t retreat into my own head sometimes. Tell me not to feel sorry for myself sometimes. I didn’t ask for any of this.

I’ve learned a few things during these experiences. Its okay to be angry. It’s okay to have bad days. Its okay to hate the world, the universe, whatever higher power you believe in for taking so much away from you. 

Reading this you might think that I have become overwhelmingly negative as a result…. but you know what else I have done in these two years? I have lived. I have done more, and experienced more in the last two years than I did in the 10 years prior. I stopped caring so much what others thought of my thoughts and actions and started living life for me. I’ve lived in the mountains in a little cabin I worked for and got by myself. I’ve hiked over 100 miles every summer. Seen parts of the mountains of Idaho I never thought I would see. I’ve backpacked in the rain, and in the snow and slept under the stars by myself. I’ve snowmobiled up to abandoned mines. Walked the entire Las Vegas Strip deep in conversation with my best friend. I have watched New Years fireworks shoot off of the Space Needle from a boat in the middle of the sound. Swam through a canyon fully clothed to get to a waterfall. Strolled hand in hand on a beach on both sides of the Atlantic and the West coast. I’ve been tattooed in Scotland. I’ve hidden notes in books of poetry for people I love at Powells books in Portland. I’ve seen a few Broadway show and experienced the 9/11 memorial in NYC. I’ve survived a “snowmageddon” in Washington DC. Ran and jumped into someones arms on a street corner in Salt Lake. Played piano with homeless woman and also ran half a mile at 1 in the morning in Denver. Ran in the rain with my love after a concert in Seattle. I’ve touched castles in Wales built by my family and visited tombs of my forefathers in London. I rolled my truck on an icy highway in January then walked to work. I hiked The Narrows in Zion, and viewed Bryce Canyon from the canyon floor. Ive touched 1000 year old sequoias and eaten dinner on the banks of the Merced River at the base of El Cap in Yosemite. I walked the entire length of Manhattan from top to bottom, watched the sun set sitting on the banks of the Hudson and listened to my favorite classical music while getting lost in Central Park. I saw real Van Gogh and Monet paintings and ate amazing food with friends in LA. I've allowed more spontaneity in my life(and subsequently my husbands whether he likes it or not :0)) than ever before. I’ve traveled more in the last year than I have in 20 years.

As much as I have loved everything I have seen and experienced, I do wish I was doing it with my family by my side. Part of me knows that my life never would have jump started like this had I not lost them... The other part of me thinks that maybe despite it all, they would be standing by my side and I could see the look on their faces when witnessing London for the first time.  But, it isn't my reality. Reality is me, taking my memories of them with me wherever I go. I will never stop imagining a hand in mine that will never physically be there again... but they go with me. I hope I have made them proud.

I have loved more fiercely than I ever dared. My circle of friends has shrunk, but my love for the few I have left has increased ten fold. I have reconnected with a few I’d lost touch with. My nearest and dearest all live hundreds of miles away, which has only given me the chance to travel more often. Life has afforded me the opportunity to love, and be loved by more than I realize. Even if I knew that I would have my heart broken, knew these connections would end in hurt, I wouldn’t change my decision to be in these relationships at this time in my life. I would never give up the chance to love and be loved as fully and wholeheartedly as I have the last few months. This last year has taught me to love myself, and my body, and the people around me so much more than I thought possible. Humans have SUCH incredible hearts, and what you can do with that love once you decide to not limit it is amazing. I want to feel like this forever, and maybe I will… but I know that no matter what happens, I will always cherish these times. It is what has gotten me through.

So, at the end of all of this I want those who have judged me to look me in the eye and tell me I’ve a bad attitude. Tell me I am negative. Tell me I have let the world, and death beat me. Walk a few steps in my shoes next time before you form your opinions. I might retreat into my head and feel sorry for myself, I might pull away, I might get overcome with anxiety from time to time because I am afraid of losing everything I hold dear and I will never, ever, for one second stop missing my family… but I have never and will never let it stop me from living and experiencing and loving my life.

A War Between Remembering and Forgetting

When I arrived in Boise a few days ago for a quick trip home I had a few things waiting for me in the mail. I knew my uncle had passed away, but seeing the memorial video and the program made it all real. Kind of sucks if I am being totally honest. He was a force of nature and fiercely protective of his family. He also had the most distinctive voice I have ever heard. I always knew when my grandma was talking to him on the phone because you could understand every word from 15 feet away :0)

Once more...

I feel like a broken record every time I say something about not being okay. As tired as you may be of hearing me say it, I am definitely way more tired of feeling it. I'm tired, haven't been sleeping, still feel like I am absolute crap at my job and my emotions are kind of all over the place. I know it is a result of the time of year. Chante's birthday on the 19th and moms on the 30th. And on top of all of that, losing my uncle was hard. Right now I am finding it increasingly difficult to distract myself enough to forget about whatever inner turmoil is rolling around in my head. 

Being where I am helps. Its quiet and beautiful and lets me think. It also doesn't judge me when I cry. For the first time since they died, I allowed myself to break. It was a few months ago, and since then I have let go a few tears which is a feat in and of itself. I had built this emotional wall inside my head that I have now allowed to crumble a bit. Sometimes I wish I hadn't, because occasionally I get a bit overwhelmed by feeling too much. It is a strange double edged sword or a fine line walked between being emotionally stunted and a teary blubbering idiot.

Someday I will get it figured out. Or not. Who knows. Right now I would be content just knowing where I belong. There are so many ways this summer could play out, but I am desperately afraid of making the wrong decisions and disappointing everyone. If I do what I can to make everyone else happy, I become miserable. *sigh* Can someone else just make the choices for me?

I'm also struggling with not being able to fix everything for everyone.  It is the mother-hen instinct. I have the need to try and make every other persons problem to go away. It takes my mind off of my own problems. The problem I am running into is knowing HOW to make others problems go away. I can't, and I hate that I can't.

Despite how it sounds, life really is getting better. The mountains, clean air and these people are good for the soul. Two steps forward and one step back is still forward progress. Right? I'm getting there little by little. In the words of Shakespeare... Once more unto the breach dear friends!!

What a week!

Bang, all of the sudden its been a week since I last posted. What?!? How did that happen... It is all wibbly wobbly timey wimey, I tell you. What has happened this week? Lets refer to iphone camera roll because honestly, besides lots of work, I have NO idea. 

I went home for a doctors appointment and saw Matt and the puppies for about 5 minutes. Just long enough to feel guilty about leaving again. Seriously, look at those faces!!

I few days later I was missing them so I ran away by myself and played in the park on the swings. Is this park for real?? Check out this view!!

We have had SOO much rain up here. I shouldn't complain since chances are good we will be praying for rain in a few months, but it has made it pretty difficult to go play! What it has done though, is make for some pretty incredible mountain shots and sunset photos. 

do you see the sneaky second rainbow??

I do other things besides take pictures of sunsets, I promise. We have had a few game nights playing cards against humanity, watched a few movies and gone to dinner in Stanley and at Redfish Lake Lodge. I'm just terrible at taking pictures because my phone doesn't get service and is basically a brick, so it stays in my bag. I did go on a hike, but I intend on posting about that later. Here's to the weekend!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

You had been at the forefront of my mind for a few weeks, and all of the sudden I looked at the calendar and realized your birthday was nearly here. It still seems impossible that you are gone. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I will never again see your smile, hear your voice, and feel your arms around me in a hug. And you know what... it still sucks. A lot.

I just happened to be reading yesterday and this particular quote really resonated with me. "The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.” That is what you are my dear, a big Chante sized hole in my life. I'm learning to grow around it, learning to live with it whether I like it or not because it is always going to be part of who I am.

The truth is there are days I still just want to be sad. And days I just want to be angry and selfish about the whole situation. But sadness gets boring after a while... and I know being in that state of mind constantly would do nothing but disappoint you. So, instead of focusing on the sadness and anger I feel, I am going to do my best to find something beautiful that day. Try to see something good in that day that I wouldn't have ordinarily noticed. Just for you my sister. I miss you more than you could ever know. Love you sweet girl!!

Social Anxiety

 I have had anxiety ever since I was in junior high. When I was young, I didn't recognize it as anxiety, and it wasn't until I was in high school that I approached my mom about it. I had no idea what triggered it then. I would only occasionally be woken up in the middle of the night with the muscles in my neck and back completely seized up. If I let it, that feeling grows down my arms and legs and it's miserable and it freaks me out. Back then I would wake up my mom, and she would rub my muscles until I calmed down enough to relax and get back to sleep. 

My anxiety has come and gone throughout my adult life, cropping up prior to getting on an air plane or going to the doctor, not ever really affecting me socially or professionally until this past year. In the past I've always found myself a part of several different circles of friends, and genuinely enjoy those friends and spending time with them. Now, however... I get those tight muscles in my shoulders, that feeling in the pit of my stomach, and can't breathe at the thought of being around more than 2-3 people. I attribute this new found social awkwardness to the aftermath following my sister and mothers death. For months afterward, as I was trying to move on and deal with reshaping my life around these two voids that were suddenly there, family friends and acquaintances approached my not interested in talking about anything BUT their deaths. I came to a point at which I was just done. I was done talking about it, rehashing it and reliving it every time I ran into someone. I started to feel uncomfortable in my own skin so I sought solitude.

Around this time I was provided an opportunity to work up in the Sawtooths. This opportunity gave me ample amounts of me-time. I didn't have to tell anyone why I was there or what I had been through, and I didn't have people asking me how I am with that look in their eye while simultaneously patting my back. It let me get through things in my head, figure out who I really am as well as who I'd like to be. During this time I was able to reflect on many friendships and figure out who I really wanted to be a part of my life and who I didn't. That there is a blog post for a different day... On quick trips home I was able to see my family and the few friends who I had kept close with little anxiety because I knew my time home was limited, and that I could retreat to my little calm quiet place where I could be all by myself again.

Once it was time to come back to work and home in Boise, it took some adjusting. I'm still adjusting really... It has taken finding a balance between work, friends, family and home. I've whittled my social engagements down quite a bit. I try to spend most of my time with the people who really know me because they understand that some days I am okay, and other days I'm in my head or need my space and they are OKAY with that. I've also learned that it is okay to walk away and remove myself from the situation or simply say no. I have to do what is best for me, even if it happens to be what isn't best for others.

It's frustrating feeling this way, it feels like a complete 180 from what my life used to be... but since it isn't magically going away, I'm finding the best thing to do is to learn to live and be productive with it.

Somedays

Some days a girl just wants her mom. 

No matter what your relationship with your mom might be, there will always be times in your life you feel like you need her. Today is one of those days. I don't feel sick and want to be taken care of, I just want to have a ridiculous conversation that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else with that one person who gets me in a way that no one else does. *sigh* We used to talk randomly throughout most days. Mostly just silly things, sometimes just to vent, sometimes just to laugh. Anything and everything was open for discussion. I miss that more than anything.

 People like to assume that feeling this way brings on overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief.  Here is a surprise for everyone... it doesn't. Feeling this way doesn't make this a bad day otherwise every day would be a bad day, because there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel something in regards to missing my mom or Chante. I'm a bit sad, but at the same time I'm teaching myself to feel these things without letting it overwhelm me. For months I refused to let myself feel anything. I forced myself to "get over it" and move on. Clearly that isn't a healthy way of dealing with it, but it is what got me through what I needed to deal with at that time. 

It has taken me time, but I am S-L-O-W-L-Y learning to feel the grief and emotions as they come. Live through it. Function with it. It is always going to be a part of my life, I can't run from it, so I am going to run with it.Someone told me not too long ago that someday it won't hurt to think about them. It isn't the memories that hurt. 95% of the time I can remember things with a smile. Its days like today when I want to have something as simple as a text conversation that that absurd little 5% catches me off guard and makes me a bit sad.

I am still terrible at talking about it. Talking brings tears, and then I inevitably feel like I am unnecessarily burdening that person with my "issues" so I just don't do it. This is where this little outlet called a blog comes in. I'm no longer keeping it in, I am writing it out and sending it out into the universe.  I have had people talk about me both to my face and behind my back saying that I am dragging this out for attention, or that I need to see a therapist for PTSD. It bothered me for a bit because sometimes I do think that I should just be "over it." There is no expiration date on grief. The way one person deals is completely different than an others and judgement should not be made. I don't need advice, or extra attention... I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to get it out. I don't even care if anyone reads this because honestly, its for me. But, maybe my words will happen to help someone else who is or has been experiencing pain in the way that others words helped me when I couldn't find my own. 

In case you were wondering

Pick a verb, any verb! Here is way more than you wanted to know about whats been rolling around in my brain lately.

Making- tentative plans for the distant, and not so distant future. 
 

Drinking- Water. Coconut almond milk. and a few Newcastles to keep things interesting.

Reading- Way too many things at the same time because I'm good at complicating my own life. Book 2 of In Search of Lost Time series by Marcel Proust. Garden of the Brave in War by Terrance Odonnell. A Meeting By The River by Christopher Isherwood. Dear Sylvie by Dawn French. A Secret Kept by Tatiana de Rosnay. I told you I have issues!

Wanting- Peace of mind, but since that isn't likely to happen any time soon I will settle for a portable record player and gobs of old jazz records.

Looking- a little more like how I've wanted to see myself. Hopefully a bit more content.

Playing- Trivia Crack... seriously, I've gotta stop.

Wasting- time (see above)

Fixing- up our home a bit. Repainting a few rooms, getting our garden underway.

Deciding-how I really want to spend my time these next few years.

Wishing- money didn't rule the world

Enjoying- Time in the sunshine with my husband and dogs before I take off in a few weeks.

  kicking ass and taking names at job #2... totally unrelated to whole verb post. 

 

Liking- the fact that my co-workers are beginning to make their voices heard. It's amazing what can happen when people come together

Wondering- What the future will hold in regards to the above statement
 

Knowing- The future is unpredictable. Doing my best to live in the moment in a way that allows me a little bit more freedom within our lives.
 

Loving- Today? Chocolate. But seriously... The handful of people I have chosen to surround myself with and how supportive they are during my highs and especially my lows.

Pondering- How narrow minded some people have become. Especially at work. Its a struggle...

Considering- Going to the store for chocolate ice cream.
 

Watching- Orphan Black and Game of Thrones are back!! Been a bit obsessed with travel documentaries as well.

Hoping- I can make it through the next 3 weeks without going too crazy. Only 3 weeks until I'm surrounded by mountains and trails and clean air!

Imogene Lake in the Sawtooths. Home while at job#1

Marvelling- at how much of this world I will never see. It blows my mind.

Smelling-Apple blossoms in the back yard... and doggie breath. The latter isn't very pleasant. 

Wearing- Shorts and sandals! Already sporting a chaco tan on my feet :0)

Planning- on having a fantastic summer. Busy, but absolutely fantastic.

Unrelated to post, shameless  but fantastic addition of Doctor Who

 

Following- I don't follow very well. Just ask my husband, and my boss. 
 

Noticing- how it really does take just one person to start change. It take a moment of bravery and standing up for yourself. 
 

Thinking- way too many things. Simultaneously of course.
  

Feeling- also everything, all at the same time. A result of shutting myself off for far too long.

Buying- books, stocking up for the summer.

Giggling- about the fact that I actually filled out this whole absurd little "thing" If you made it this far... Hooray!! Gold star for you!

A few words about words...

In the months following the loss of my sister and my mother, I couldn't bring myself to read fiction. What I did do, was devour poetry, and quotes about loss and grief, strength and weakness. I wrote the ones I connected to in a notebook. I didn't realize it until sometime later, but I was searching for words that explained more eloquently, the feelings in my head and in my heart, because I couldn't describe it. I needed to read and identify with the words of others who had felt what I felt. In a weird way it made me feel less lonely. These words understood and explained how I felt. They didn't judge, or make me think I was crazy or compare my loss or level of grief to theirs. In a few months I read hundreds of poems and quotes. As helpful as they were at the time I read them, only a handful remain memorized. The one that struck me the most was brought to my attention by a good friend of mine and is probably the most powerful two lines I have ever read in my life.

These words made me realize how deeply loosing them affected me. Pride told me I was okay. I now am now aware I am not, but someday will be. I started this post tragedy journey wanting to live FOR my sister and mom. What I have learned is that I am really living for me. Through everything I do they are with me, "everything I do is stitched with their color." 

I am not defined by their loss, but so much of what I have accomplished in the last year has been influenced by them, or the loss of them. Life is short and unpredictable. I have learned that I want to live it. I refuse to be unhappy, complacent. The biggest thing I'm trying to figure out is what kind of person I want to be and how to achieve it in baby steps. A constant thought in the back of my mind is whether or not my sister and Mom would be proud of the person I have become. I'm not sure that is a healthy way of looking at things, but it is always going to be there. One thing I do know, is that whoever I was, whoever I am, and whoever I will be... They'd love me regardless. THAT is the kind of person I want to become... another example of the influence of their absence... and my decisions being "stitched with its color."

Furry Friend Tag!!

 I adore my two fur babies. Some might even question the healthiness of said relationship. That said, here are a few questions about my dogs, who are both rude and ginger. *bonus points for anyone who gets that reference*

1. What is his/her name? 
Piper and Ella


 

2. When did you get them?Piper we got in 2006, Ella came in 2008

3. What is something they do that annoys you?
Piper is an instigator. She will pick a fight with the neighbor dog then prance away like nothing happened, leaving Ella in a war of wills at the fence. Ella likes her own voice. Which is very loud. She also enjoys cat poop.

4. What type of breed are they?
Piper is a mini Dachshund, Ella it a Blue Tick Redbone Coonhound mix.


 

 

 5. Have they ever had a near death experience?

Ella and her brother got themselves into the middle of the Salmon River a few years ago. After getting caught in the current for a bit Ella beached herself on an island and waited on her dad to rescue her. It was dramatic and she hasn't really cared for moving water ever since. Piper is far too cautious to get into any real trouble.

6. Do they know any tricks? 

Piper was taught to sit pretty, which is pretty much begging in the cutest way possible, by her first owner. She doesn't like being told what to do so that is the extent of what she does on command. Ella learned to sit, lay down and shake pretty easily. When she really, really wants her treat, she will do all three at the same time. Its pretty hilarious if I say so myself. 

7. Do they love to snuggle? Piper would live curled into someones lap if she could. Ella, not so much. Cuddling is on her terms only, and never for very long. we love her the same though.

8. Where did you get them?

Piper is from our good friend Dan. We got her when she was about 2. Ella we got as a puppy from a couple I went to school with.

9. Do they get along with other dogs? 

Yes and no. Ella is instinctively protective. Shes got to sniff out the situation first. Piper used to love everyone, but in her old age she is getting a bit grumpy. She has learned to bark first, let Ella judge the situation, before she invests anymore attention.

10. Do they get along with strangers?

Ella- see above. Piper, if you have food or are willing to let her cuddle in your sweatshirt, she is your best friend.

11. How much do they weigh?
Ummm... Piper is about 10 pounds, and Ella is about 90.
 

12. Do you ever dress them up?  

Piper has occasionally been known to sport a coat or a sweater given to her by her grammie. Ella, nope. She'd just eat it. 

 

 

13. Have they ever tried to run away?

Nah, they're far too spoiled 

14. How did you come up with their names? 
Piper came with her name. Ella is named after Ella Fitzgerald. No other reason than I love her.

15. How much does he/she mean to you on a scale of 1-10?

11!!!