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| Sawtooth Valley 2002 |
I have always had a love affair with nature. I've been called obsessed and told that if you cut me open I would bleed trail dust. I take it as a compliment. As long as I can remember I've been a dirty trail rat. Summers were spent in the mountains. Fishing with my grandad on the Salmon River, swimming in alpine lakes, and hot springs, hiking, often just wandering off trail following a stream just to see where it would take me. I reached the summit of my first peak when I was 19 with my sisters who were 8 and 12 at the time.
That was a pretty life changing event for all of us. I remember being so high on adrenaline and excitement that I didn't realize until I got back to our cabin and peeled off my shoes that they had been rubbing my toes so bad my feet were covered in blood. The next few years saw a handful of hikes a year in the summer months while we were camping or visiting a national park.
My husband and I did a tour of National Parks for 2 weeks. Camping for a few weeks at a time has been a part of our summer ritual for the entirety of our marriage. We have taken upwards of 20 others out with us to the middle of the Sawtooth Mountains, which afforded me the opportunity to hone my dutch oven skills. (They're mad skillz friends... I can promise you that) Long story short, I've been lucky enough to be able to enjoy the mountains and wide open spaces around me for my entire life. I absolutely took it for granted.
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| Cast Iron on the fire 2009 |
Wilderness and time in and among peaks and valleys, rivers and fresh mountain air didn't become a necessary part of my very survival as a person until 2014. That winter I lost my sister and my mother within a few weeks of each other. My mother was my best friend and the glue of my family. I toughed my way through the process of funeral planning, closing estates, sorting through belongings and did my best to function as a human being all while ignoring the massive hole in my heart, and soul left by the sudden deaths of my family. That summer I took a job up in the Sawtooths and moved up there for 4 months. I started taking shorter hikes in the evening, long 10 milers on my days off. By the end of summer I had hiked about 75 miles.
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| Hell Roaring Lake 2014 |
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| White Clouds 2014 |
That summer I became a hiker. That summer in the mountains saved my life. Looking back I can see how deep into myself I was getting in the months since the funerals. I locked everything away and refused to feel anything. I was unhealthy physically and mentally. These hikes were all solo for the most part. Traversing trails at my own pace, generally with some music in one ear. Being alone gave me the opportunity to think about whatever I needed to think about in a way that was beneficial for me. In addition to losing about 40 pounds, I also started on the road of unlocking bits of me I had hidden away and slowly began to rebuild myself into the person I wanted to be. On those dirt trails I proved to myself that my mind and body are both stronger than I ever thought possible. I completed hikes I never thought possible.
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| Imogene Lake 2015 |
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| Titus Lake 2015 |
Hiking stopped being a hobby and became a necessity. I am not fixed by any means. It wasn't a miracle summer. It still took me an additional year and another 100 miles of trails to process enough to really cry and grieve, and even now I know I still have a journey of dealing and healing ahead of me. The most important thing hiking did was provide me with an outlet to channel my energy, both positive and negative... physically and mentaly... I was able to utilize nature in a way that I never had before. I climbed that mountain, so I can face another week without my mom. I backpacked 20 miles in a weekend so I can make it through a birthday or holiday without my sister. It helped me deal with the sudden path change my life had taken, and gave me a way to cope with my grandmothers death a year ago.
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| Heart Lake 2016 |
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| Sawtooths 2014 |
I learned that people drain me, I need solitude and nature to fill me back up. I learned that life is short, and I don't want to get to the end of mine thinking about everything I wish I had done. I started tackling my bucket list and am very proud with the dent I have made in it... even though I continuously am adding to it.
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| Plain of the Six Glaciers 2016 |
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| Smith Rock State Park 2016 |
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| Garden of the Gods 2016 |
This year I am committing to do the
52 Hike Challenge. I am really excited about it. This first month has been rough because I have had to work a lot. Mornings, afternoons and evenings, sometimes really late nights... so I have had to make a few miles on the greenbelt suffice. All that has done is drive me to diversify the rest of my list to make up for it. Last year I got to knock off hiking in Canada and the UK... I can't wait to see what the rest of this year brings me, and I look forward to blogging my way through it!!
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| Baldy Mountain Trail 2016 |
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| Bryce Canyon 2016 |
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| Frank Church Wilderness 2016 |
